I am the Villain

 

When You Realize the Villain in Your Story is You...

Yesterday, I was thinking about my villain's backstory in Caribbean Gold, and I had the sudden realization that the villain was me. 

No, I am not a killer Russian mercenary.

I do share some loose connection with Sergei Igorevich Drozdov. You can blame my subconscious this. I already do.

Sergei served in the Russian Army when they were in Afghanistan and saw horrible things. Did horrible things. Serving his country broke his innocence. When he returned to his homeland after the Russians pulled out of Afghanistan, he did so without thanks. The USSR collapsed, his family was exiled due to his father's participation in a coup, and Sergei had to leave behind his wife and children and seek a new homeland. On top of all that, he is constantly overshadowed by his brother and is full of resentment.

Yet, Sergei desires to return triumphant to Russia. To best his brother and restore his family name to glory.

My story is not quite as deep and traumatizing as all that. 

I did serve in the Army while we were operating in Afghanistan. My innocence was already broken, and the Army made it worse, but in no way like Sergei's experience. Fortunately, my country has not collapsed, and my dad was not in the KGB. 

My older sister overshadows me with everything she has done (got all A's in school, better job, married, has a 20-acre farm and nice house, etc.). I don't resent her though! 

I did exile myself from my home due to my many failures there. 

Now I am actively working on finding my place in the world and part of me is seeking a way to move back to my hometown. 

I will caveat that with the fact that I am doing so legally...

I have not resorted to treasure hunting...yet....

Your subconscious and life experiences play a huge part in your writing. I did not purposefully design my antagonist to reflect my own experiences, but it happened, nonetheless. 

My protagonist does not reflect what I am so much as what I want to be. I am not nearly as outgoing and adventurous. He is still a reflection of me.

Take a second look at your characters and you will probably start to see what I am talking about.

Chime in on the comments or shoot me an email and let me know how you are reflected in your characters.