First Trailer: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

 INDIANA JONES 

and the Dial of Destiny 

First off, if Phobe Bridge and Kathleen Kennedey cuck, emasculate, bait and switch, or denigrate Indiana Jones in his own movie, like Disney has done to Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Obi Wan Kenobi, then I will destroy them (figuratively). I don't know how, but I will. 

Revenge of the MUTHA FUCKIN FANDOM!

We have heard the internet rumors and the director, James Mangold, dispelling them. Do we believe either? Yes and No. I think there is a grain of truth to each. I can see Phoebe Bridge, ala Kathleen Kennedy, explaining Indy's privilege to him all the time and her character being amazing at everything while Indy is suddenly horrible at everything. No one has a problem with a strong female character, as long as she earns it and is likeable. Disney is in the habit of doing the opposite. Look at Reva, in the Obi Wan series, we were just expected to love her character and accept that she is great at everything even if they had no story to back it up. She turned out to be one of the most unlikeable characters in the world of pop-culture. Disney screamed racism, we screamed lazy writing and agenda pushing. 

Disney, if you are going to push your woke bullshit, at least put in an effort.

Secondly, I actually liked this trailer. Sure, the CGI was not completely polished yet and it may not be, but for Indy I can look past that through my nostalgia glasses. The set pieces, even with CGI, already look better than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The digitally de-aged Indy looks good too and it does not bother me that they are doing that for flashback sequences. AND we got John Rhys Davies returning as Sallah! Who gives two actual shits if he is not actually Egyptian. It's called acting, where someone plays someone, they are not, so fuck off wokesters.

Harrison Ford does not look half bad for and 80-year-old action star and with the drink he took from the Grail, it is entirely plausible for him to have youthful exuberance at his in-universe age of 70. Sallah doesn't look too shabby either and I hope he get more than a guest appearance. 

Location, location, location. Thank God they got off the friggin backlot for some of this movie. I think they filmed in multiple location around the world, so we should see some set realism and not the shiny fakeness of studio sets. 

The action set pieces look fun as well. Vehicle chases, a chase on horseback through New York, and one on a Nazi train. We also get the classic Indy punch and some whip action, whereby our faithful hero disarms the enemy. Please for the love of Mike, don't make the action end so anticlimactically as some of the set pieces in KOTCS. For example, in Akator, when they are rushing down into the temple and the steps and pulling into the wall. The sequence builds and builds as our heroes rush down, trying to beat the steps to the bottom so they do not fall to their deaths. AND NOTHING HAPPENS. Everyone is fine.

Nazis are back and Mads Mikkelson looks like a winner as the villain. Nazis, I hate these guys. They are looking for the Dial of Destiny, which is most probably the Antikythera mechanism. It is shown briefly in the trailer and has the rumored power of time travel or some relation to that. Lots of rumors there...I for one do not care if it is indeed time travel, as long as the supposed leaks do not come true. It is not less plausible than aliens and the MacGuffin is at least a real artifact.

Even the trend of slowly playing movie theme scores and slow note piano music in trailers did not bother me. Some people are entirely too critical. Like those panning the last scene of the trailer where Indy gets his own gun trick used against him. It is funny in the exact sort of way one would expect from and Indy film. Sure, the bad guys might not be the best with target acquisition, as they keep firing into the glass where Indy stood and not where he went. Is that any worse than using a fake "live" snake to pull Indy out of quicksand? 

All in all, rumors notwithstanding, I got the feels from this trailer. They hit the nostalgia button for sure and I know that is what they were going for. Maybe it is to get us into the theater before we all know how they will destroy our beloved Indiana Jones. For now, I will remain cautiously optimistic.